This essay was written by a student in a class equivalent to this one. How well do you think she did? Do you think your writing is as sophisticated as hers? If not, that may mean she got an earlier start than you did, but not that she is a naturally better writer. What’s one thing she does you could be better at? How will you go about getting better at that skill (I will help you if you’re serious, as will the writing center)?
What is her “they say”?
How does defining terms help her argument?
How does she use counter arguments?
Does this seem a serious & fair paper? Does her use of the word “I” damage that in any way (your teacher doesn’t think so, but he doesn’t require that you agree)?